Have any of you read Ashleys blog yet? Read the previous post. She's a really good writer. She's serious. My blog is not serious. I am a horrible writer with the worst grammar(I sercretly plan to have awful grammar, so that I sound funny...hmmm whatever just go with it.)
Well, she is really open in her blog. I'm not open in mine at all. All my posts are superficial. I use to write in my journals EVERYDAY. Now that I have a blog I don't. I don't even write all the same things in my blog vs. my journal. Sad.
Anyways. I thought I'd give the whole serious post business a try. I've got some things I need to get off my chest. I told Ash I was slightly nervous. She told me to just do it.
...so I'm just doing it....
My first(and maybe last) seriously blog post starts.....now
Remember how I use to blog about a best friend that I had? T? Well...he left 3 months ago(today actually) to serve a mission in Texas. He's been in Houston for the last 3 weeks. I miss him alot. I miss him even more than I thought. Why? Because I haven't written him in almost 3 months. Who misses someone but doesn't write him? Oh that'd be me. Hi my name is Lachele Wickens, and I'm a horrible best friend.
The last month or so before he left was pretty touch and go with us. It was rough. We argued. Okay, I picked fights and he sats there and took it. People talked. We went from sitting together in Sacrament meeting, and Sunday School to sitting on opposite sides of the Chapel(don't tell me you've never secretly whispered to your neighbour when you see two individuals who are ALWAYS together sit apart. You might even make up senarios as to why they aren't sitting together), going to Family Home Evening together. Whereever you say Troy you probably saw me. Vise versa..
I am very insecure. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't fun enough for him, or I wasn't athletic enough, or that I embarassed him at football with his friends. He always use to tell me I was random I was for thinking these things, and that he didn't think any of these things. Of course I blew it all out of porportion. That's where the fights would start. I'd give him a peace of my mind. He'd sit there and take it. Tell me I was awesome and that he loved me. Then we'd be good to go by the end of the day. This same senario happened atleast once or twice a week.
That kid is seriously the most patient guy I've ever met in my life. So being a spoiled girl. I took advantage of that. I am here to tell you that no matter how patient someone is. There is always a breaking point. I pushed him to that point about 6 weeks before he left.
The same things have been running thru my mind lately. Can I fix this? Did I ruin a good thing? Why do I have to sabatoge all my relationships? Why did I have to pick that 'one' last fight? Ugh.
That little orange post button is taunting me. Post. Or not to Post.