Tuesday, April 21, 2009

back to work....

Tonight I am back at the gym for a good portion of the night. I really wish my gym was open later its sooo inconvient, but since I only pay 2.10 a month( admin fee, I've been there a long time and go special 6 months free memberships to start using) I think I have like 2 years worth of them racked up, so I can't REALLY complain all that much now can I?? Anyways so my whole night will be spent in the gym 5:30-9.. it's not really that hard I promise! It's a little bit of running, a little bit of biking with some cool down on the eliptical and some weights X2.... I'm a big girl and I can handle it ha ha! My leg is feeling a whole wack better, last night at fhe everyone was asking me why I wasn't at the gym, and I had to explain to them that I hurt my leg, but I was walking fine, I think they just thought I was a big fat liar! Which I'm not! booooy o boooooy! So tonight is my 5 mile run and a little 10 mile bike...no big deal and some weights then its home to watch the biggest loser!! wooohooo!!! I love that show! If only I was American and about a good 150lbs heavier ha ha!

I was talking to a random in my ward... and by random I mean someone I don't normally talk to let alot pour out my heart about this triathlon business to... anyways she was asking me about my times and what I was hoping to get for my first and I pretty much told her I'd be enthralled if I crossed the finish line with no tears and no broken bones! Which is pretty much how I'm feeling right now, but she said something incrediably bold that I would never think to say to my best friend let alone a stranger I've known for .5 seconds.. but she told me I was copping out and I was being a wuss and I was trying to hide behind some insecurity that I have with this, and that I'm not setting any goals or reasonable goals(cause I guess finishing isa goal but its not really reasonable because of course I will finish.) I need to set a goal that I can work towards..... to improve my time because I could stop training now and not got back to the gym until the day before I compete.... soooooooo for this silly woman who told me I'm a wuss I will officially claim my time that I am aiming for as 2 hours! I've danced around that number since I started but I've never really committed to it because if I come in 2.00.59 I'll have felt like I failed! I think thats the reason that I haven't put any limits on myself, and I also feel like that is the reason I haven't been to concerned with training, I know I say I spend a buttload of time in the gym, and I really do but I just feel like I'm going no where with this, is because I'm not trying to get better! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO for all those of you that were thinking the same thing this special spirit was.... my goal is TWO HOURS and I haven't decided if this includes transition times or not, cause I have no way to really practice transitions everyone tells me that you just have to get the hang of what works for you in the transition areas! So, I guess I'm going with the flow on that one! Theres my little update, and now if I can only stop getting injured then I will be good to go, and I'm getting super stoked!

NOOOOOOW, since I feel like all I do is blog about training/working out I need a little help... I thought I was doing pretty good on the budgeting thing and saving money but as I look back at the last few months I've realized I SUCK! ha ha how did I ever think I was doing ok, and you know what it's because of my credit card. It was paid off for a super long time and things were good but then I just started using it every now and again on little purchases and WAM BAM its maxed again... ha ha how did this happen?!?! Seriously! Well, Once my credit card is paid off once and for all this time I will not be using it for all of my road trips and what not, I will be saving up for those on the side and if I can't afford it I will be not be going (after my trip to Utah for my tri) I'm not scrimping and trying to come up with a few bucks for dinner and gas, I've got food, and I've got gas for my jeep and a little for entertainment but as far as a savings is concerned I've got not much in the way of that! And considering I'm really looking at going back to school I need to keep my options open and I need to get saving... I really don't want to move to Edmonton for Nutritional Science but I really don't want to be paying $18,000 a year to go to school at USU or UVU or BYU....when I could just pay the $37,000 to finish the year and a half left I'd have of nursing down there! Nursing you say, you think I should totally finish that right? Well I was totally gung ho on that BUUUUUT it seems like Alberta has changed it regulations on nurses since the last time I checked into it, so I can't even be sure I can practice up here, and there is a slight possibility that I can stay down there and practice cause the states is looking for alot of health care professionals and so there is that possiblity but if not...then what? then I can't even work as a nurse getting paid big bucks up here and I'll have a huge student loan debt AGAIN that I'll have to pay off(ha ha this stresses me out just thinking about it) and if I took it up here I'd have to start a full 4 year program all over again... So really I'm kind of back at square one again...what do I want to do? where do I want to go? and is this really what I want to do right now? ha ha!! I thought I only had to make these choices when I was 18...no one said 5 years later I'd be in the same boat I was in when I was 18! booooooooooo

I'm sooo exausted from thinking to me, and not sleeping enough lately..but theres my rants for the day!

No comments: