WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO

I just got the sweetest freakin pair of running shoes... they're wicked! I'm not going to lie I absolutely love them. Last night I was playing volleyball... and I was freakin killin' it man... let me tell you I think its the shoes...I'm 'dec' but last night I was havin some good games! They're white meshieness....with lime green...and blue. I was trying to find ones that weren't nasty pink, so I got lime green. I'm excited to hit the gym tonight for my first training sesh with them! ( I know..its friday night...why am I planning on spending my night at the gym, and in the pool??) well its cause I have no life... its really the truth... I have noooo plans at all this weekend, I think I'm ok with that....

Training has been interesting... I've been learning alot about myself the past few weeks... I've learned that I get really frusterated when I'm not good at something from the get go... I've been a diver for the past 10-11 years and so I'm pretty comfortable in the water, but theres a huge difference between swimming 60 feet under the water, and swimming on top of the water.... its alot harder than it seems... I'm doing ok, I just need to work on my edurance right now, and then work on my speed... I keep reminding myself that I have time... I have 5 months!!! CALM down! Mallorie called me a drama queen the other night because I was taking this pretty hard haha... It will come, and I know it will... tonight I'm going for a run after work, then I'm going to do some toning... I really need to do that... then if I don't do anything tonight I'll go for a quick swim at 9 then hit the hot tub for a while! and its the exact same thing tomorrow too... swimming and the gym! I feel soooo good after a good solid work out.. I really shouldn't be complaining cause I love the gym, and the days I don't go, are usually the days when I feel the lowest... I really believe that the gym is an antidepressant... atleast it is for me.....

So last night while I was on my way home from work, my phone rang and when I saw the name on my phone I'm not going to lie I was a little shocked, it was my highschool best friend Lauren Valgardson McCance... I haven't talked to her in like a year... she's been married for almost 2 years and lets be honest newly married people just really don't care about hanging out with single people anymore...they're "too cool" for that..haha but it was really fun to talk to her, and catch up...even tho I don't think she really cared too much about the dates I've been on lately, and the fact that I'm no where near close to getting married(even tho shes pushing it on me)... it was sweet... I haven't seen her or her husband Chris since my other best friend from highschools wedding LLASSSST november... and I haven't seen Amber since then either... those married people... geez... just forgetting about us singles as soon as they say "I do" nahh it's cool Amber is awesome and I really miss her too, but I forgot how random and funny lauren was... she always made me laugh in highschool and she still makes me laugh now. She's awesome. We're going to hang out soon... which will be really fun! It's been so hard to keep in touch with all of my married friends... I really need to do a better job of that I think... Maybe when I get married we can all hang out again ha ha... I really envy those close knit groups of friends that stay close all their lives. My mom has girlfriends shes still close with after being graduated highschool for 25+ years and I can't even handle 5.... oyi oyi.... But it was good to talk to lauren and I can't wait to hang out with her.... I love her husband too, Chris is such a good guy!! I miss those two! ahhh


So this next part is kind of serious....which I hardly ever am... so thats why this is going to be hard for me to write, and I don't know if its going to make sense, but its just all the gumbled thoughts in my head. I was having a convo with a good friend of mine last night, and we were both just talking about regrets, and talking about the things in life that we think we've missed out on... and I'll be honest.... I've got alot of those....I'm not really going to bring them up because some of them are definately sensitive spots for me right now, but I really need to start doing things for myself, and stop thinking negatively... last night I was seriously wondering HOW on earth I have any friends, because I'm like the weridest person ever... lately my moods have been from one extreme to the other.... last week I was the most outgoing, always playing with new people mood, and this week I haven't seen one person... I go in and out of hermittness.... and I think I've found where all this is stemming from... and it comes from all my insecurities... and so as I work on them this year(within the next few months) I hope to have my extreme moods be not so extreme.... :) I've been thinking alot about my life lately, and what I've done with it.... and I've come to the conclusion that I've been thru alot the last 5 years... a little too much, and I think thats why I am the way I am... I really envy my friends who can just pick up and travel.... I wish I could just do that, and I hope that I will be able to.... the biggest thing I feel like I need to work on right now is balance! I need to balance my work,social and my training life so I can do a little bit of everything. Lately I've been running two a days... and so I go to bed at like 9:30-10 every night so I can get up at 5:50 to swim before work... I know physically it will pay off... and once I feel better physically I will be more outgoing(its just this long equations... IF I do this...THEN... I will have this) so I really need to just find balance... and take a few institute classes this semseter so I get some sort of social life throughout the week..... so my conclusion is that my hermittness now...will pay off this spring/summer when I go on all my trips.... I think I feel better about being a hermit, and I really need to try and find balance in my life...... I also need to stop pretending everything is ok when its not.... Pretending to be something I'm not is hard work....nuff said!

On a lighter note... I had another funny convo with "donna" today....

Donna: hey lachele when is your birthday?
Me: Jan 29th...why?
Donna: How old will you be?
Me 23.....why?
Donna:.... don't you mormons get married when you're like 15.... You must be like the oldest single mormon girl I know....
Me: Donna..... how many mormon girls do you know??
Donna:......well just you....

HAHAHA oh man.... this stuff really shouldn't get to me anymore, and I'm really working on that!!