Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Just freaking out a little bit.....

So, is it too late to bow out gracefully from my triathlon committment.. I mean I haven't even officially started training, or registered for the stupid thing .... so I was talking to my two friends Mal and Ri down in Utah...the ones that I'm doing all of this with... and well.... I'm just freaking out a little bit. I spent the better half of my afternoon on the internet reading stuff on training, and trying to find a program that will work with me. www.trinewbie.com is amazing. This website is the whole reason I am re-thinking this whole thing.(freaking out) Part of me just wants to start training and love it, and just keep doing it for the rest of my life....and just go out and buy a new bike, new running shoes, new bike shoes, biking shorts with the built in butt.... and all of that snazzy jazz....but the other part of me is now realizing that this is one of the hugest committments of my LIFE!!!!! and for those of you who know me, know that that C-word scares me...and I suck at it. So I have some decisions to make...and FAST...... I have the time... thats not really what I'm concerned about, I'm ready to dedicate everyday to training....for as long as it takes...the part that concerns me is the whole 'dedication' thing.... I tend to lose motivation/dedication on things unless I have someone kicking my butt.....so pretty much.... I guess I'm just a pile...with no self motivation..haha crap!!! I just don't want to start doing this and realize that I suck at this... but I guess I will never know unless I try right?? right..... so it looks like I'm pressing on... and hopefully I don't embarass myself out of Utah County in May. I've been doing alot of reading, and I'm glad that I'm trying to get as prepared as possible now, because I didn't realize how much stuff I need and how intense this really is. There is a Tri store that I pass every morning on my way to work, and I'm going to go in there someday soon and just look around, get some more info. I don't need brand new stuff now... I can get a new bike, all the snazzy jazz once I decide that I'm in this for the long haul, for now I can just get the basics and go with the flow..... I think I've calmed myself down quite a bit logically thinking this thru...so maybe I will be fine after all.... besides I have 5 months... so really... if I can't train for a triathlon in 5 months and get a pretty decent time there really must be something seriously wrong with me.... I've only got 21 weeks and that might seem like a long time, but most of the programs that I've found are min 13 weeks, so by the time I get started I really don't have that many weeks. I want to do well at this, because I think this could be something that I want to keep doing. Hopefully it will spark my interests in something... because I feel like my life needs to change in a few different ways, and I think the biggest change is my career path... I don't really have anything specifically set in stone, and I have alot of options open to me right now. Maybe something to do with nutrition or sports...or I don't even know. I feel like I'm just blabbing now to blab.... and by all of my last posts you can probably tell that I'm just quite the little typer... just keeps going and going and going... Anyways I've got to head back to work right now, and do some more research on this... and start making a list...then I'll be heading to the gym tonight for another work out.....(oh ya.... my first workout without my ipod wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be....) It was a little boring... but I had time to think and to reflect... I don't really remember what I was thinking about, I just remember thinking " wow this time is really going by alot faster than I thought it would" but that doesn't mean I'm not giving up hope of finding my ipod or buying a new one within the next week or so... it just means I tried something new.... and I don't mind it.

No comments: