Sunday, June 3, 2012

No Regrets

Sorry about the no paragraph business. blogger hates me. How do I fix it?

As I look back on the last 5 years here in Calgary I have been reflecting specifically on experiences that have brought me to this place in my life. I want to leave each chapter of my life with No Regrets. I feel like although I am not getting married, I'm leaving Calgary and feel like this part of my life is close {for now} I use to be (up until about an hour ago) a person who abused the phrase "I wish {this} didn't happen" "If I could go back and do it all over again knowing what I know. I wouldn't do it" "I regret ever meeting so and so" Why? Each one of these trying experiences that have moulded me into the person that I am today. <--- now I'm not saying if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I definitely could use a little more time in the refiners fire. I can think about a few {very} personal experiences in my life that have either; broken my heart, made my walls go sky high, made my question the thought process going on in my head, and if I actually was MENTAL. At the end of every single one of experiences I've always said "This is the biggest mistake ever, I wish it never happened" I have always regretted the fact that I was the one who went to University right out of high school, and I wasn't the one who went to travel around the world, and I haven't been able to experience those things. However, since I've decided to go back to school a THIRD time I've realized that this is the plan for me. I always feel a little hesitation with heading back to school again because I'm 26 and I've always wanted to be debt free and doing my thing by now. I've recently looked at it in the following way:: If I'd have travelled for 3 or 4 years before getting an education I'd have waited until I was 23 to go back to school for my {first degree} to work for 5 years (being 28} and realizing I need to go back for something I am passionate about and not graduating until I am 34. The Lord was preparing me for this moment. I do NOT regret being the person who went to school first. I'm going to have my time to play, and to travel. When that day comes I'll be able to go through with No Regrets! I know I'm not the only person who feels this way, or who thinks like this. However, I hope that none of us truly mean this. Adversity is put in our path and we have two options. 1. Either be bitter, and closed off. Or. 2. You can let it rides it course and try to find the lesson to be learned. From my personal experience it's a lot better to go through hard times and not try to work against the natural flow. Make sense? *Again. So NOT eloquent with my words. It always sounds so much better in my head. I still have a few "I regret this" situations I need to work through. But slowly before January hits I know I will feel confident in the fact that I can say that I left this part of life with no regrets. This is going to take a lot of effort on my part. I have a hard time forgiving people, and I have a hard time with not holding grudges and moving past situations. But the first step is admitting (hahahahaha) please sense the sarcasm. But, I will work on this. And. To ensure that I can limit the "I regret" situation I am making bucket lists {Summer, Utah, Canadian} Well, that's just a little bit of what else is going on in my mind. P.S-- Why does everything else look better on Pinterest? I tried to do this, this morning. Super cute from far away. Not so pretty up close!

1 comment:

sophistifunk said...

love love love your nails! so cute :)

i love your blog :)
xo brie