I wish that I would have researched careers and degrees a little more when I was in high school. I wish that I wouldn't have just chosen the first degree(or second) that I thought sounded good.
Want to know a little secret? I took a program that didn't take very long, because I honestly figured that I would be married by now. Married with kids so I wouldn't have to work. I'd be a stay at home mother. I get to play with my children, cook dinner, have play dates with my friends, I'd be the woman who had the cutest home decor, the yummiest meals, and the funnest parties.
and now. I live in a little two bedroom apt with my roomie. I work at a job that I don't want forever. If I am going to be single for the next 10 years I want to make sure that I have a career that will allow me to do things that I want to do, maintain the lifestyle I am accustomed to while being able to purchase a home...while helping me feel fulfilled in my life.
sidenote: I know there are a few non LDS readers on my blog. Who when I post about church stuff might just shake their heads with disbelief in how neurotic I may act. However, growing up my dream was to be married young and raise a family. So now that I am looking into going back to school. I am having sort of a inner debate. Sorry for the random rants.
I am going for a career that will take up ALOT of my time. I am going to be the typical career woman. I am going to use my degree. I am going to put my career first. So. How is that going to work IF I end up married. Am I going to set aside my dream of becoming a mother. Of having the cutest decor on the block and being a master chef? because I would hate to go to school for that long and just get married and not use my career. That would be a waste. Right.
However. This thinking is what got me into this mess in the first place. I could be done with my degree working in a very successful position making money. I hate when those IF thoughts creep into my mind.
Senario 1. I get my degree. I get married. Have Children and have to choose(or maybe work part time)
Senario 2. I keep thinking IF....don't get my degree and in 5 years am working the same job I have been and I'm still not married.
Sounds like a no brainer right? Why WHY am I having such a hard time with this.
I know plenty of women who work outside the home, have Children, maintain a beautiful home, cute kids. Why do I feel like I am giving up my life long dream for my new dream. Can I do both? Can I do both with honour a full purpose.
Well...here goes nothing. Lets see if I make it past the application process.
3 comments:
your dream of becoming a stay at home mom with the perfect house and children, making the perfectest meals puts my stay at home mom-hood to shame!!
what are you applying for?? Are you only applying in the states?? do tell.
I am applying for the Public Health/ Hospital Management program. Yah, so far it's only the States.
haha. It looks a lot easier from the outside looking in. I know it's not like that, however I choose to still think that's how it will go.
I don't know you, but I've been in your situation. I didn't get married young like all my LDS friends and at 25 decided I'd better go back to school and get a career I would actually enjoy, since I could be supporting myself forever. Best decision ever! None of us know what the future holds for sure, so the best we can do is make a plan for our circumstances right now and pray about it. If it's right you'll know. That said, it doesn't mean that plan won't change again, but at least you'll feel like you're progressing in your life. I had the same thoughts - I wanted to be married, but decided I wasn't going to just sit around and wait for it - I was going to have a great job and a great life in the meantime. Good thing too, becuause I am (blissfully happily) married now, but it wasn't right away. What a waste of my life it would have been if I'd just stayed in the dead end job I hated, waiting to get married. Plus, I actually met my husband through the job I have now, which I wouldn't have if I hadn't gone back to school. Just some thoughts. It's okay to make plans that work for now, and it's okay to change them later should a guy come along you want to marry and start a family with. Life is meant to be enjoyed and experienced, not just a way to pass time.
Kay
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