Whats going on Up there.....

Ok, So the other night I was having a 'heated' conversation with someone that is very close to me(which makes this even harder than it normally would be) But right smack in the middle of him ripping me apart... He calmly asked me:

"Lachele, What the heck goes on in your head?"

...Good Question...

What is going on in this little noggin' of mine?

**Disclaimer** I normally really dislike posting really personal things on here, because you never know who reads it, hence I'm sure a few of you will know that some of my previous debbie downer posts have been removed. I know I'm WEAK SAUCE! Sorry. I'll probably post this, vent...then return to delete it a few days later after I've cooled down,ALSO I've decided ANYTHING I blog about can't be talked about in real life. That's why I blog, so I don't have to talk to anyone about it :)

So.. Whats going on in my head:

.Why do people I trust have to be dick heads.
..Why am I so trusting in the first place..
...Why don't I make people WORK to be in my life, rather than WORK to keep them there...
....Why does everyone think I am "perfect and well-put together"....
..... Is there something I'm supose to be learning from all this balonga(sp) I'm going thru.....
...... Did he seriously just say that to me?......
....... How in the world did I ever think so highly of you......
........ How could I be so clueless, I saw the way you treated her, why did I think you WOULDN'T treat me like that........
......... I should just become a hermit to avoid all disappointment.........

Ha-ha! Well.... there you go. Thats whats been going on with me lately! I'm just trying to make sense of this all, and trying to piece together the puzzle and move on! It's hard. Considering I see said person a bajillion times a week between different activities I'm involved in. Who knew this could be so hard. I've been avoiding alot of things this week....

One thing I'm going to try and do better on is not letting other people determine my happiness. It seems like I let people do that to me alot....ie: Right now, because of above mentioned situiation I have been a little less than pleasant, quiet and very snappy lately.. Go Figure. hmmm.

I feel like I've been abandoned at the time when I need someone the most, and I've been hurt by those that I trust the most. So really who can I go to?

**A Note to the girl who was treated crappy before me, I'm sorry! I now know how you feel, and I bet this is bitter sweet for you. You're over it, and now you can laugh at me the way I laughed at you because I felt like I won. I'm sure theres already someone new laughing at me! Lets be friends and start an ANTI ### club :) ***

I've learned that I can never get to comfortable with the situations I'm in, because as soon as I become comfortable I let my gaurd down.... then thats when all hell breaks loose...

For here and now I will try and not let others determine my happiness, nor will I let ### get to me. I will hold my head up high and hopefully move on. I am thankful for the words spoken in the D&C that always make me feel better.


" This shall be but a small moment"


Touche'


<3