Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Always Remembered...Never Forgotten!

This time of year is always hard on our family.

11 years ago today my Grandma Bigelow passed away suddenly. Healthy as a horse. Went to bed one night and never really woke up.

I remember that day so vividly. I was only 13 years old. I was woken up by my dad-which was super unusual. He was always gone to work before I even woke up for school. He told us that my mom was at the hospital with my grandma, because when my grandpa tried to wake her up in the morning he couldn't. He assured us that everything would be okay, and we were on our way to school. I was in grade 7. I remember sitting in my grade 7 math class. Mr. Lowry was my teacher. I had been thinking about her all day. *I've never told anyone this* But you know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that something just isn't right. Well I had that feeling the whole morning. Then half way thru my math class it went away. I felt peace. I felt calm. I knew she was gone. My parents never came to the school to get us, but I knew she was gone. I had softball practice after school. My sister Kayla and I went to practice...then after we rushed home. That's when I 'found' out. I already knew tho.

I didn't take it very well. But it was my sister who was utterly devestated. They were super close.

I have so many memories of her. She was amazing. She was a nurse, and she's one of the reasons I got into healthcare. I'm grateful for her example. She was seriously adorable. I remember riding my bike to her house in the summer, and I would help her pick 'flowers'(dandilions) for my mom. We'd get ice cream. She'd let me drive her car(she would let me steer down her road) I thought that was the greatest thing EVER. We would drink lemonade in her backyard. She let me help her garden.

Everytime I go home I always go out to the cemetery. Take her sunflowers. Her fave. In highschool I'd run there at nights for my cardio. My parents live a mile from there so it was a nice little jaunt for me. I would run there after dinner. Just sit there. It sounds creepy. But it was so peaceful.I miss her everyday. I wonder what it would have been like if she was still around while I was in highschool. Would I have been as close with her as I was when I was little? Would I have went to her house for lunch(she lived across from the highschool)? Would I have still gone with my mom to see her at the rainbow(the hospital she worked at was painted like a rainbow-I'd get a sucker from her everytime I went there) Would I go and visit her everytime I go to Taber to see my parents? Would she be proud of me? Would she still brag about me to her other nurse and doctor friends. Taber is a small place. I still see nurses and doctors that she worked with...who still tell me that she would brag about me left, right and center. I was just a kid. But she was so proud of the fact that I won coloring contests in grade 3.

Today I miss her. Everyday I miss her. I miss her more for my mom.

The day after she died, our little town of Taber was hit hard. There was a shooting at my school. I was there. because I tried to take my mind off the fact that my hero was gone.

The last week of April is hard.
It has been for the last 11 years.
It will be until I am reunited with her again.


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